Growing up most of us don’t know about all the cultural taboos and societal rules in place. We learn them as we go.

Enter 10 year old Angel and the dreaded “n” word. For those of you that don’t know, I will provide a brief description of the word, the rather many variations of use, and specifically the 2 times I was called out for using the “n” word, all in an entertaining story format.

I recall when I was a younger boy, probably about my son’s age, I was at an arcade, and one of my friends was playing “punch out”, remember “Mac”, little green striped guy. At one point an opponent comes out, and its a big black dude.

So in all my 10 year old ignorant innocence I call out loud something to effect of “Man that scary big black nigger is gonna beat you up”!

Little did I know at the time that a proud soul sista was standing right behind me, Oops! She taps me on the shoulder and proceeds to lay into me.

“Little boy, do you know what ‘nigger’ means?”. Sure, its a word that means big black person. “WHAT! Don’t they teach you kids anything in school, at home?” Not about that word, and mom doesn’t really speak english, dad never mentioned the word either. ” It means BLACK AFRICAN SLAVE, and its very offensive to black people”. Oh, I know about slaves, Harriet Tubman, and stuff, but they never said anything about that word. “Now you know!”

Once again, oops.

She then proceeds screaming and lecturing me at on the history of the “n” word, and why I shouldn’t say it, and she says she’s gonna tell my mother and father! I told her I didn’t know anything about the “n” word being offensive, but that I wouldn’t say it again. She seems satisfied and left me and my friends alone.

I was scared cause mom was next door, and she probably would not have liked it very much to find Queen Latifah screaming at her little boy over a mistake he had little fault in. And she’d probably blame my mom, and that would of been ugly.

So I think this lady could of been nicer, and less of a C*NT WH*RE B*TCH about the whole thing, but I do confess, the experience got through to me, since that day at the arcade, I’ve been very careful with my use of said word, and only use it for educational purposes, if at all.

That is except for a period in high school. The word, “my nigga” takes on a different meaning there. Its not about offending, its about how we referred to ourselves, our friends and men in general. In high school no one ever said “that’s my friend”, or “that guy”. Everyone said “that’s my nigga”, or “that nigga is crazy man”. Notice the spelling? Other variations are nikkha, nukkha, and probably new ones I don’t know.

I know people that use it to this day in that very same context, and every once in a while it slips out of my mouth as well in the same context. Particularly when I’m talking street, or going to that level when I’m trying to communicate with hood folk.

Which leads us to experience number two. I was on the train with a few of my good buddies, we were joking around, snapping on each other, dissing each other and talking smack.

We were all in high school and these conversations included plenty of the “n” word. Now another sista sitting around us says “I find your line of conversation about sex with women and the use of the “n” word so frequently highly offensive.”

Now I wasn’t the scared little 10 year old anymore, I was immature, and I was hanging out with some of the craziest comedian mofo’s you could ever meet. And so they began.

“Hey Angel, I FIND YOUR FACE OFFENSIVE”, “don’t talk angel, you are offensive”, “ohh, I’m highly offended”, I feigned crying and on and on we mocked her and giggled all the way till she got off. Then we continued to make fun of her, even after she was gone. Yes we were being little pests, hell I think we were probably high on the mary jane if you catch my drift, or drunk. Who knows?.

Now as a grown man, my social setting, friends, etc, seldom expose me to the “n” word, so it hardly ever comes out, I just don’t feel comfortable using it, it is a derogatory term as far as I’m concerned.

I do wonder if either of those two women listen to modern rap or hip hop, and if so, do they b*tch when a rapper uses the “n” word. Anyway that’s my little story on the “n” word.