As a professional hot looking dude, I shouldn’t have to blog, consider, or practice “baby steps” for anything hotness. Simply I should just be there! Right? I’m a pro after all? *end sarcarsm*

Ok now speaking real, obviously this is not the case. I’ve fallen hard down the ranks. No longer do I go to dance/strip/comedy/book or any other type of clubs and have the females and males alike complimenting me on my flat abs, biceps, strong chest, broad shoulders, or anything for that matter.

Every once in awhile I get “man your arms are huge”, and I follow that with a “that’s what she said”. Hehehehe.

Most of the time these days are filled with humor and ridicule on how my once perfect physique is no more. I am constantly subjected to how my formerly flat abs are now actually protruding past my shirt and sticking out.

Every meal, move or thought is criticized and analyzed. “How many months are you” is one of the jokes I hear these days. If I eat a donut, or drink a soda, I am told that’s why I’m getting fatter and fatter. Etc.

What people probably don’t realize is that I am not, have never been, and will never be either gifted or genetically blessed with that former body.

Long before I got into that kind of shape, or looked anywhere near as fit as I used to, I looked like I do now. This is my body’s natural weight, this is where my body and metabolism want to be.

For years and years through tireless training, and dieting, efforts worthy of a professional athlete I managed to fight, to change and manipulate this otherwise flabby physique into a body that the God’s themselves would feel comfortable walking in.

Don’t get it twisted friends, I busted the sh*t out of my @ss to look that way. I trained while most of you were still in bed in the morning, and then when you were going to bed in the evening I was for the most part training for the second time that day.

I took supplements to aid me during this insane training, work, school schedule. I spent enough money on creatine, thermogenics and other supplements that one could probably run a small army with it. Not quite, but you get my point.

My meals consisted of egg whites, canned tuna, chicken breast, leaves, and if I was good the reward of half an orange. I recall my x girlfriend frequently complained of how my body emanated the smell of tuna fish.

I ate very small, very frequent meals. Just like a newborn child. I would eat every 2 to 3 hrs, I carried my meals with me all day everyday, no matter where I was at, what I was doing, who I was with. My meals were sacred, and not to be missed or toyed with.

If I was partying, I’d find food, if I was in class, work, where ever, I’d make time to eat. This was not negotiable. In fact, though not as rigid, I still do follow a similar eating schedule to this day. Just tends to be unhealthy food. Doh.

I recall times when I was actually with girls to the 3rd hour mark, and I’d say “give me a second”, then I’d run to either the kitchen, or where ever my food was and ingest my meal for that 3rd hour. Nonnegotiable.

In addition to this I carried 1 gallon of water, which I made sure was consumed by the end of the day. On training days (quite often) I would consume 2 gallons of water (sometimes more). 1 throughout the day, and 1 during the training session. No, I am not kidding either.

Now what is the point of all of this that I am writing? Its simply to clear some myths, laying the facts out.

Friends, I was not gifted, it was not a genetic thing, I worked hard, very very hard to look as I did. So it would be appreciated if you fools stop thinking that I simply got in that shape without effort, and that I look this way now because I really don’t care.

I do care, not one day passes that I don’t feel ashamed or embarrased at what I’ve become. Its a constant presence in my mind. I deal with my own pressures, and I don’t require additional feedback from anyone about something I am perfectly aware of. Yes I know I am fat again, than you very much.

Back in my early 20′s I had all the time in the world. I could train twice, even thrice a day without anyone to account to but myself and God. But things are different now.

I have a little boy, a fiancee, and I work much longer hours, couple that with a longer commute and I simply don’t have the time resources I used to back then to devote to training.

Not to mention the fact that I am 10 years older than I was. The few times I’ve tried to go as hard as I used to on training and diet I end up breaking down and getting sick as a dog. My body just isn’t having it.

Which takes me to the title of this blog. Baby steps. I had a banana for breakfast. I will have what Kitty made for lunch, and some yams as a mid day snack.

I will lay off the donuts, pizza, soda and other junk food I’ve been frequenting. Baby steps. I’ll start cutting out the heavily agrresive greasy stuff and adding some training.

Weather permitting I will attempt to take a 3 mile run tonight, if not perhaps I’ll do a px90 at home with kitty. But I must do something, I am not pleased with my current state..

Baby steps. Something is better than nothing. I know I won’t change overnight, but I cannot remain this way, for only a miserable life would be in store for myself and all that love me.

For those that have and will support me, I thank you.